Unexpected Unconsciousness Bares It’s Teeth.
Jack Ross. Who is Jack Ross? Sitting in a claustrophobic inducing cubicle filing mounds of various company papers, I ponder this question. I have been seeing Jack Ross for the better part of month and I have realized that I know nothing important about this man. I know that he is slightly arrogant, speaks at great lengths about his views on life ( which are a bit peculiar to me), a extremely generous tipper, and possess a strange talent for remembering all the lyrics to any Genesis song ever written. This information is great to know ( even if it is slightly bewildering) but despite all the following I am at a loss to the man saying my name with such convincability is. I spend my lunch break in my makeshift office staring down at blank sheets of copier paper trying to decifer what has become an enigma to me. Or so it begins this way. Half way through my decifering I find my mind wondering. Suddenly I find myself on a Belizean Beach being served a rum and coke by a barely clothed male stranger whose face I can't not see. This fantasy is unnerving to me because the scantly clad man has the same scar on his right forearm as Bryan. Bryan recieved this battle scar ( as he calls it ) when a ex girlfriend once stabbed him with a letter opener . It might sound bad but Bryan probably deserved it.
I join reality disappointed in my day dreaming ability . I relay the days events to Willow that night. After some deep psychological diving on the Bryan in the daydreams situation , she informs me that I am just trying to find a reason to leave Jack Ross far behind. Possibily true. She begs me to ask him my questions and comfront my unsteadiness of our blossoming relationship before I throw another successful and intelligent man away in return for a night alone staring at the Arkansas night sky wondering when my life was going to begin. That night I spend my hours staring out my window at the Arkansas night sky listening to "At Last" by Etta James over and over again trying to desperatly to drown the noise of my thoughts flowing ever so freely through my mind. I finally find slumber some time around midnight.
The next night I am out with Mr. Jack Ross and his anomalous views. We find ourselves at one of the many Jazz clubs that can be found scattered among Little Rock's night life. I have to admit that it was a fun time. There was sharing and I finally comfronted the fear of Jack that I had. After way too much information exchanging and free flowing music I found myself at the door of Jack's high rise apartment. Jack obviously had never heard of modest living. I watched him fumble charmingly with his keys and took in the environment. He opened the door slowly and motioned for me to enter. I took one step forward. A few moments later I awoke on the floor of his fabulous apartment building hallway. Jack was kneeling next to me saying my name in a rather loud voice that cut into my head. It took a few moments for me to realize that I had fainted.
"Fainted?" Emma questioned as I told the story to my friends the next morning over Emma's all Vegetarian breakfast. Willow pushed to remind me that this had happened to me many times before. " You fainted when Grant gave you your first kiss in fourth grade, when caught walked in on your mom and stepfather engaged in carnal activities, when your grandfather died, when you accidently got locked in that chruch at your mother's fourth wedding..." I stopped Willow. I had gotten the point I don't handle situations very well. I question though why did I faint at Jack's. I knew what was going to happen. I was fine with it. It had been mutally intiated. What was so different about this time that made it something I couldn't handle consciously? Willow and Emma came up with their different and rather dramatic theories. Only to leave more confused than I had been before the morning had begun. What is a girl to do?